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1.07.2010

MTG Flavour

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We could not find any news-worthy items of interest for you today with regards to Worldwake spoilers (Wizards has effected a large and heavy lid on this spoiler season), so thought about railing against the new 'Duels of the Planeswalker' decks, the new (paper) product but did not want to waste the space on today's post.

Instead, what started as a brief article about Worldwake speculation based on flavour text evolved into something rather different . . . something not at all related to the next set release but a presentation of funny flavour text from Magic cards past - let's go.

Hunted Dragon
The knights see a mighty quarry. The dragon sees breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Furnace Whelp
Baby dragons can't figure out humans—if they didn't want to be killed, why were they made of meat and treasure?

Fodder Cannon
Step 1: Find your cousin.
Step 2: Get your cousin in the cannon.
Step 3: Find another cousin.

Noggle Bridgebreaker
"It's always funny till someone gets hurt. Then it's hilarious."

Obliterate
"The enemy has been destroyed, sir. So have the forest, the city, your palace, your dog . . ." —Keldon soldier

Werebear
He exercises his right to bear arms.


Patrol Hound
To the camp, it was a fierce and loyal protector. To the sentry's youngest daughter, it would always be her "Wuv Muffin."

Sizzle
"Of course you should fight fire with fire. You should fight everything with fire." —Jaya Ballard, task mage

Druid's Call
Suffer the little creatures, for they may yet rise up and beat you senseless.

Skirk Prospector
"I like goblins. They make funny little popping sounds when they die."

Gorilla Titan
"I want a banana this big"

Trained Orgg
"That arm's for bashin'. That one's for smashin'. That one's for scratchin'. And that one . . . I don't know what that one's for." —Orgg trainer

Root Greevil
The root of all greevils.

Goblin Striker
There's no word in the goblin language for "strategy." Then again, there's no word in the goblin language for "word."

Orcish Artillery
"Ready . . . aim . . . fire"
"Ow"

Goblin Sky Raider
The goblin word for "flying" is more accurately translated as "falling slowly."

Please comment / drop us a line if you have any favourite flavour text which tickles your funny bone.
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Anywhoos - stay tuned as we scrap the web for rumours and spoilers and serve 'em up hot here for you on MTG Realm.
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8 comments:

hobbesq said...

From the original Polymorph:

"Ahh! Opposable Digits!"

Dennishonderd said...

just search for goblin flavour text mostly like Zo-Zu the Punisher, btw my fav is Aluren from the tempest series.

btw flavour text is sometimes also a spoiler: Summoner's Bane from zendikar has text from jace, and jace was never in zendikar until now with worldwake :D

and the magic comic about zendikar shows sarkan vol there, but no card of him has surfaced yet:P

Anonymous said...

Enormous Baloth (M10)

Its diet consists of fruits, plants, small woodland animals, large woodland animals, woodlands, fruit groves, fruit farmers, and small cities.

I find it funny.

Rick Sadler said...

actually, both jace beleren and sarkan vol have appeared as planeswalkers in the shadowmoor and shards blocks.

another funny flavour text

Lava Axe "Catch"

John said...

I think everyone's missing the real gem. From Anthroplasm:

"I never metamorphosis I didn't like."

Anonymous said...

Enormous Baloth: "Its diet consists of fruits, plants, small woodland animals, large woodland animals, woodlands, fruit groves, fruit farmers, and small cities."

Geremy said...

Symbiotic Beast:

"The insects found a meal in the carrion of the beast's prey. The beast found a spiffy new hairstyle."

My personal favorite along with the already mentioned Lava Ax

And my friend's favorite is from Counterspell:

"The pyromancer summoned up her mightiest onslaught of fire and rage. Jace feigned interest."

Anonymous said...

My top 3 are:

3rd-Lava Ax: "Catch!"

2nd-Counterspell: "The pyromancer summoned up her mightiest onslaught of fire and rage. Jace feigned interest."

1st-Symbiotic Beast: "The insects found a meal in the carrion of the beast's prey. The beast found a spiffy new hairstyle."