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5.26.2009

Malodorous MTG

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Fetid, foul-smelling or funky. These are some undesirable adjectives that one would not have any great desire to collect to describe one's self. DCI Judges and participating players any Magic the Gathering event do not want to be near a gamey gamer who smells south of cheese.


To this end, Wizards of the Coast now presents it's premier scent line . . . Magic: The Cologne.

Understanding time constraints that players experience during playtesting and traveling to / from events, WoTC fully understands that sometimes personal hygiene may take a backseat. Players who may not have time to shower in the sink or perhaps may have inadvertently collected tortilla chip dust in their shirt pockets or pizza cheese / toppings in their hair will welcome this wonderful product.

After employing liberal volumes of your favourite colour of Magic: The Cologne to yourself you may, with full confidence, take a seat at that crowded tournament table even with air-conditioning / ventilation off in the building. This Cologne even may be used to de-grease buger-juice stains on your track-pants.

Magic: The Cologne is an original idea / design of artist Christian Jessen. Check out his unique and beautiful work on DevianArt or at his webpage.

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Dross Crocodile
"As soon as it surfaced, we could all smell it. Its rancid breath reeked of half-digested carrion and its own rotting innards."
—Dafri, Auriok champion



Marsh Gas
"Comes right outta th' ground. If ya can smell it, it's too late."
—Keevy Bogsbury

3 comments:

Big D said...

Excellent post. Personal hygiene is often ignored and definitely shouldn't be!

Spade said...

There was also WILDSIZE:

Target creature gets +2/+2 and gains trample until end of turn.
Draw a card.
Flavor Text: "Two times the size, four times the smell."Anyway... is this for real? It would be cool for them to make 5 different smelling colognes

Nicholas Davis said...

yeah..... but then all players who wear this lose fear until end of game.......