Happy Wednesday MTG peeps,
With the recent haul of new Khans of Tarkir cards we got from MTG Mint Card, we've been going full throttle in developing some new decklists - casual at home, good for Friday Night Magic, etc. We've come to a point now where we just have to push away from the table and take a break from all the lists we want to try out and play. Today's post is our break - some Magic: the Gathering humor.
We're sure you've all heard those witty 'Chuck Norris Facts' that had become (and still is) an internet / meme / IRL phenomenon. Well, we would like to take some of the funny ones we recall and change it up with that Bear-Punching Temur Clan Leader, Surrak Dragonclaw. You can read more about Surrak on the second installment of Planeswalker's Guide to Khans of Tarkir right here. Anywhoos, lets go !
When Surrak Dragonclaw wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Surrak Dragonclaw.
Surrak Dragonclaw doesn't do push-ups. He pushes down the world.
Surrak Dragonclaw is the only man that can survive a roundhouse kick from Surrak Dragonclaw.
Surrak Dragonclaw can slam a revolving door.
Surrak Dragonclaw can split the atom, with his bare hands.
Surrak Dragonclaw can clap with one hand.
Surrak Dragonclaw is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Surrak Dragonclaw is not allowed to fly because every part of his body is on the "restricted items" list.
Surrak Dragonclaw will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
When the bogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Surrak Dragonclaw.
Surrak Dragonclaw doesn't drink energy drinks. He sweats them.
Surrak Dragonclaw ordered a Bic Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Surrak Dragonclaw can strangle people with a cordless phone.
Surrak Dragonclaw has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.